Knock Knock

I heard the knocking before I was completely awake. It inserted itself neatly into the dream I was having as the ticking of a grandfather clock. I stood on tiptoe, staring into its antique, yellowing face. Panic jolted my body into wakefulness as I noticed the face staring back at me – two eyes shadowed and hidden behind two small holes just above the centre, where the hands met. The dream slowly faded away, but the ticking stubbornly remained.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Knock

Knock

Knock

Someone was at my apartment door.

I glanced at my clock, thankfully small and digital at my bedside. 1:45 am. Who would be knocking at this hour? My mind raced over the list of possible people and the panic that had started to ebb upon waking, began to rise once more. No one came immediately to mind.

The knocking had stopped and I listened to see if the person would continue. If it was an emergency, surely they wouldn't stop. Surely it would sound more frantic than the metronomic pounding I thought I had heard.

Silence.

I remembered my phone. I reached over the bedside table to find it. My hand, trembling slightly, lost its grip and it clattered loudly on the hardwood floor. The sound reverberated through the entire room.

I held my breath. What if the person were still outside the door? What if it was better if they thought I was still asleep or not home? I mean, I really didn't know who it could be.

The silence was taught, like an instrument string about to snap. Finally I exhaled and turned on my phone's screen. The electric light seemed to illuminate the entire room. I felt exposed. I glanced up to make sure my blinds were closed completely before realizing how silly I was being. After all, it was probably no one. Someone a little tipsy getting the wrong apartment.

It's only Wednesday, I thought. There must be people who drink on Wednesdays right? Or maybe they're just overtired from a late shift at work. They've realized their mistake and gone home now.

I glanced at my phone. No messages. My family lives over an hour away, so they would definitely call first. I don't have many friends in town and certainly not any that would drop by in the middle of the night unannounced. My boyfriend, Sam, he might.

But Sam's in Korea. He won't be finished his semester for another month. Did something happen?

I texted Sam's number and asked if he happened to be in town.

I browsed the net for a while to calm my nerves before finally laying my head back on the pillow. I nearly jumped out of my skin when the knocking began again.

Knock knock.

Knock knock.

I listened closely, praying that maybe it was someone knocking on the neighbour's door. Maybe it wasn't even my door at all.

Knock knock knock knock.

It was definitely mine. Maybe it was a neighbour. They'd been locked out. They needed help.

Then why only your door? There are plenty of others to choose from. And why so calm?

I started to get out of bed, figuring I would just going up to the door and look out the eye hole. But then my imagination won out.

What if they're waiting? They'll hear your foot steps. They'll see your shadow pass the peep hole.

I remembered that stupid scene from Scream when the man leans in to overhear a conversation in the bathroom stall next to his. The knife that was waiting. I imagined a knife on the other side of the small glass hole. Waiting for my eye to curiously glance out.

That's stupid. You're being stupid.

But by the time i got to my feet the knocking stopped. I sat back down on the bed.

I wanted desperately to turn on the light. I wanted to bathe in light. But again I looked up to my bedroom window. I had picked a first floor apartment because I figured it would be safest during a fire. I was now wishing I was a few floors up. I left the light out - maybe they'd think no one was home.

Who is this person anyway? Who am I so afraid of? For all I know it's the little old lady from down the hall. Maybe she needs some help and she remembers the nice young girl who works at the coffee shop.

I tried to tell myself how ridiculous I was being. I tried to think about how the morning staff would laugh at the shop tomorrow. I was still getting to know everyone, this might be a nice story to break the ice.

It could be someone from the shop.

But no one from the shop knew my address.

Someone knows it. It's on your emergency information. Someone could have went digging...

I tried to clear my mind. I took a breath and glanced at the clock. 2:35 am.

Knock.

Knock knock.

Knock.

Goddammit. Please, no. Just stop.

I thought about calling the cops. But what would I tell them? Would they come out when I hadn't even tried to see who it was? Maybe I should call my parents.

They're an hour away, what are they going to do? Find your body in the morning?

I willed my mind to shut up. I wanted to puke. I tried to objectively decide how absolutely out of proportion I was making this situation. I failed miserably.

Knock knock knock.

Knock knock.

I gritted my teeth. I stood up. I had to consciously force every muscle in my body to move. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but I couldn't see well. I walked into the dining room table on my way to the door. Every time there was a pause between knocks I froze. Held my breath.

But it always started again.

Knock knock knock.

Knock.

Knock knock.

I licked my dry lips as I made it to the door. A small explosion of yellow, fluorescent light marked the eye hole. I lifted my head up, and looked out...